Today is/was the 2-year anniversary since Jess and I met. So far, it's going swimmingly. I must have blown $100 last nite getting trashed. Woke up this morning at 7:00 am and proceeded to get royally baked. Wound up 25 minutes late for work. Posted a brief San Diego missed connection for Jess. Am going to see Doug Benson tonight (he's recording a CD over at the punchline) with a friend.
I would much rather be smoking more and playing Fallout 3 than working right now; amazingly, I am actually getting work done.
And I haven't cried yet today! Oh, success never felt so empty.
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Monday, April 20, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I bet there'll be a lot of lonely San Francisco teardrops fall tonight
I just done saying a prayer on the roof my building. Kinda funny thing for an atheist of fifteen years to do. Making it worse, I was fucking crying. Praying and crying? I don't think I had done that since one of my dogs ran away when I was nine.
But tonight, I wasn't praying to Allah or anybody like that. I was praying to San Francisco. The same dirty, stinky, loud city that I live in the middle of. Being up on the roof at night, surrounded by buildings and lights and giant Pepsi ads, I remembered, for a moment, what it was like when I first moved here in 2002. I was so full of hope, and I wasn't going to fail, like I had failed every other opportunity that had come my way before. This city was new to me, different, exciting. I was finally where I wanted to be, and the next six years or so were a long, educational journey that finally culminated in what I had always wanted and dreamed about.
Predictably, that fell apart faster than an Iranian earthquake shelter.
Tonight, I prayed to this city to help me, to give me one more chance. I promised I wouldn't fail this time. I can't fail. I got nowhere else to go.
But tonight, I wasn't praying to Allah or anybody like that. I was praying to San Francisco. The same dirty, stinky, loud city that I live in the middle of. Being up on the roof at night, surrounded by buildings and lights and giant Pepsi ads, I remembered, for a moment, what it was like when I first moved here in 2002. I was so full of hope, and I wasn't going to fail, like I had failed every other opportunity that had come my way before. This city was new to me, different, exciting. I was finally where I wanted to be, and the next six years or so were a long, educational journey that finally culminated in what I had always wanted and dreamed about.
Predictably, that fell apart faster than an Iranian earthquake shelter.
Tonight, I prayed to this city to help me, to give me one more chance. I promised I wouldn't fail this time. I can't fail. I got nowhere else to go.
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