Women like to say that the #1 thing they look for in a man is "sense of humor." And I happen to know that women who say that are lying liars who are lying. I'm a professional humoredian. I have done the research, and I know that what women are really looking for are large pensisisses and lots and lots of cash. But it's not ladylike to walk around going, "I like cocks and money!" So you have to say, in lieu of "cocks and money" ("Cocks and money!!!"), you have to say "sense of humor." And then that confuses ignoramuses like myself, because I think all I need is a sense of humor and boom, I'm in, all I have to do is say something funny.
-- Doug Benson, from Professional Humoredian
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