When I Was Only Thirteen I Got Connected

When I walked into work this morning (Stan Bush's epic "Dare" echoing through my whiskey-addled head), I was handed the brand new 32gb iPhone 3G S I ordered (drunkenly!) last week. I was going to post a picture taken from my old iPhone of my new one, like a proud parent or something, but then I got kinda self-conscious about it (what kind of dickhole posts a photo of his new iPhone?), and started thinking about the "Xzibit Yo Dawg" meme and could picture myself mocking myself with "Yo dawg, I herd you like iPhones, so I put an iPhone in your iPhone so you can douche while you douche," and I got anxious about it, and then my old iPhone wouldn't send the fucking photo to my e-mail because it sucks and it's broken which is why I got this new one to begin with.

I've needed a new iPhone ever since I spilled beer (or something) on my old one a few months back, and said old one has been annoyingly half-functional ever since. Also, lint gets in the earbud jacks on these things REALLY easily. For both of those reasons, I'm going to by some sort of cover or case for it (which I will research, perhaps at work!)

So, you get no photo of iPhone. However, you do get the music video for "Dare," which features robots inside another robot so they can transform while they transform.



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I never have had anything resembling street cred, so I shouldn't be embarrassed to admit that I've always been kinda queasy about the whole illegal downloading shit. I mean it's illegal for a decent reason -- you can't just take stuff for free that's not normally sold for free! -- and, you know, it's like the only instance where I hear the term "artists' rights" and don't reflexively think, "What a bunch of whiny hippies." And I picture some bored white girl, a couple years out of college, downloading songs off her laptop while shopping for shoes online and, really, that's not a group I'm too sympathetic to.

But then I read this horrible story of a 32-year old mother of 4 from Brainerd, MN being ordered to pay $1.92 million for illegally downloading 24 fucking songs. (Ya darn tootin!) And I'm reminded that as much as I may (or may not) respect an artists' rights to remuneration for their work, I also say, "Fuck Record Companies."

Also: Only old people still call them "record companies." Gack.