I Just Might Have a Problem That You'd Understand, We All Need Somebody to Lean On

My brother is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. Incredibly sweet guy. There's a story I tell to illustrate this:

Back when my folks and my brother still lived in San Diego (1996 or so), my dad and my bro went to a Chargers/Raiders game. Charger/Raider games tend to be ugly affairs in the stands because, well, Raider fans.

They both see a fight ready to break out between a Charger fan and a Raider fan. Not an unusual occurrence, unfortunately. What is unusual is for a person to step in between the two, calm them down, and convince them to just walk away, and to do it without threatening force or ejection or the police on them or something.

And that's what Scott did. He got between these two mad cats and talked them out of trying to kick each other's asses. I don't think they hugged it out and became best friends or whatever, but at least there was one less fight.

My dad called me and told me that story when it happened, and said it was one of the most amazing things he's ever seen in his life. And no, my brother isn't some hippie.

I relate this tale because my brother, while a very nice guy, wasn't much of a traditional "big brother." He's got 5 1/2 years on me, so you'd think that'd be a good age difference where he could show his younger sibling "the ropes." Well, he wasn't like that. Didn't drink or smoke pot, wasn't popular with the ladies, and he had all kinds of self-esteem issues (sound familiar?) that occupied him. Hell, he needed a big brother.

(I should probably point out that I was, and still am, a terrible little brother.)

So I drifted through my younger years aimlessly, looking for guidance and approval from the friends I made. None of those guys were very good with the ladies themselves because they were either inept or gay. But I did learn about drinking, drugs, gambling, and other useful tips that have made me the man I am today. But I still have issues -- particularly with the ladies -- and I need some further instruction.

That's why I am so THRILLED to see Andy Botwin has his own university where he teaches students the kind of lessons they didn't learn when they were younger! (See video intro below.) The University of Andy sounds completely awesome and exactly the kind of positive guidance that I need in my life right now. I'm so stoked about it that I don't care that it's not a real university, and that Andy Botwin is a fictional character and a giant fuck-up. I mean, have you watched Weeds and see the kind of tail he's pulled over the years? Zooey Deschanel, an Israeli chick, a hot Mexican illegal immigrant, and, well, I haven't watched Season Five yet, but I hear he gets some nice tail there as well.


New Beginnings, Happy Endings