Dear Dave:
It's official: You're broke. Broke and really in debt. You need to stop drinking. Or at least, stop drinking so much.
And yeah, I know that realization is depressing for you for a number of reasons -- you basically have nothing to show for it except a bad liver. But it's been a long time coming, and you gotta face facts. You're depressed and all, I know, but drinking doesn't help that, and you know it. Don't fucking cry about it, either.
Now get your head back into your job.
Signed,
Yourself.
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