I was just in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and putting some product in my hair. I'm wearing a black t-shirt, still fat and old, and still rocking a beard, so as I was slicking up my hair this unwanted thought passed into my mind:
Do I look like Paul Mitchell?
I thought about posting that as a Facebook status update, but I got anxious, because I was afraid I was just being my typical annoying, narcissistic self. And that pause was good, because then I got scared that people would read it and start calling me "Paul Mitchell."
And then I would have to kill myself.
So I didn't, and I'm alive to finish this up and go get a sandwich.
(Random Trivia Fact! Paul Mitchell is a co-founder and owner of Patron Tequila! Another good reason to not drink tequila, kids!)
(Also: his real name is not Paul Mitchell. What a complete douche.)
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