You plan to go to an event. You're on Facebook, and you can check out who has also decided to attend this event that is being promoted on Facebook. And you do. You find a (fellow) person that is also planning on attending the event who appears attractive and interesting and possibly quite masturbatory-worth though you do not know this person. You arrive at said event, and notice the attractive person you found on Facebook, and admire their taste in baseball teams, beer, and nail polish (Green, for instance). You fail to find an opening to talk to this person, so you ask a friend if they know that person. The friend tells you that the individual sitting next to the attractive person with the interesting nail polish is her boyfriend, even though the Facebook page of the attractive person indicates that they are single.
Notice the several dozen other attractive people who are at the event, and who are no doubt going to square off and fuck other people not named you. Feel depressed.
Wake up at 1:00 in the morning with an unopened bottle of whiskey next to your computer, and wondering, "Should I take my meds now or wait until I wake up later?"
Lose more faith in continuing to breathe.
Also: You notice a another person who is way more likable than you are who recently got a large tattoo on his fucking head.
Plus: You are thirty-five years old and you think this is a beautiful site:
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